811 Overcomming Denial

Abuse - weather it is physical, emotional, mental, verbal or sexual
is by nature a violation of our will
abuse hurts
and wounds
sexual abuse is particularly wounding
and a violation
and so we locked it up
we denied it happened in order to cope with its trauma

we were children, we were sexually abused before puberty
before our minds could understand what was happening
even where abuse occurred in teenage years when we could understand
it left its mark, guilt shame and confusion
it the case of rape it s violation left a trail of destruction only Jesus Christ can negate as its evil and it is Christ who defeats evil.
hence many disclosures occur in mid life when we can no longer tolerate part of our personality being locked up
and determine to open the door to the dark place
or exlpore or unwrap that which we dissociated
nevertheless it is a painful process
we need the Lord God's comfort and strength
and the power of His love to cast out fear
trusting Him to bring us through the steps of recovery
It's more than surviving
its praying for
believing God to bring
recovery
Its worth overcoming the denial
be prepared for others denial
sadly there are many sympathisers who discredit victims of abuse
or diminish the pain of abuse

whilst others are unable to cope
its to terrible to accept, so they go into denial

parents can be in denial, the truth can be behind their shame, blame and just unable to face that someone could have abused their child on their watch.
I was abused by an evil couple who accessed me after establishing a friendship with my parents.
male victims are also faced with denial. In some countries it's not even recognised as existing.
some, hopefully a few, women who have been hurt by men even feel as males we desirved it

whilst others will respond with sympathy and understanding

It was not our fault
We did not desirve it
When you are ready
after overcomming your denial
it is appropriate,
in the case of child sexual abuse,
to report the abuse to the authorities
because abusers usually have multiple victims
sadly some authorities are unresponsive, but there are other times when sucessful prosecutions and claims for damages have forced an acknowledgement and brought about change

my own disclosures were a result of community awareness during the NSW Wood Royal Commission which exposed pedephilia and forced the introduction of Child Protection Policies.
many have used stuff to deaden the pain

some used or became adicted to alcohol, cigaretts, drugs, over or under eating

many have acted in or acted out
either consciencously or unconsconsciencously
there has been confusion
the key is to act on God's word
not on feelings which are contaminated by the csa (Child Sexual Abuse)

we recall statements from our parents, teaches, Preachers and friends
but in our memory there are the evil and destructive words of the abuser
ask God to cut the tie
break the influence
pray for discernment and say no to messages left imprinted on our brain by the abuser

Links to the steps of Recovery

since June 2003