Kate's Testimony

My journey to the Lord was a long one. That's saying something because I am only fifteen. My parents are divorced. My only biological brother lives with my dad and has never said an honest word to me. My little brother is actuall y my Aunt Margie's son. She and her boyfrient beat and abused him in who knows how many ways. I am, of course, thankful he is now happy and healthy and terrified of having to get braces. My stepbrother and step mother weren't allowed to see me when I was little, but they found ways around that. My mom was never a happy person. She hates to be wrong and hates not to be the center of attention. She has always punished me for being able to stand up for myself and others and for not conforming to fads or styles. She always does what everyone else does. This was (and is) hard to deal with. But, my walk with Christ didn't start with all of that. It started with pills. No, not drugs, just pills. Paxil, to be exact. Last spring I was diagnosed with clinicle depression and anxiety. That means I have a chemical embalence in my brain that causes me worry and shake and become suicidal for no particular reason at all. I wasn't very happy about taking a pill for the rest of my life. I didn't want to depend on a little pink peice of compresed powder. So I started asking questions. My stepmother tried to tell me the answers, but it was new friend who finally showed me the way. See, Seth used to do drugs and he got saved and turned his life around. I met him at our lunch shift. He was reading the Bible and I was curious as to what would motovate him to do so. So, I asked. We started talking. He talked to me about God and asked me what I believed. I couldn't answer, at least not truthfully. He invited me to his church on thursday and I wanted to go. Lo and behold, my driveway flooded that thursday and I couldn't make it. After considerable deliberation I decided to go next thursday, and this time I did actually make it to church. Wonder of all wonders, it just happened to be consolodation services that night (that's where the pastor asks you if you want to get saved, and if you do, you go into another room to pray and talk and give yourself to Christ). I wanted to get saved and so I did. It wasn't painful, it was peaceful, and, though, it was hard to completely surrender, I did. I have Christian friends now who give me confidence and joy and an energy I never had before. When I get nervous or unhappy, I pray. Then I know that I have some one who holds me when I cry and gives me a shoulder to lean on when I need it. Then I'm not nervous or unhappy anymore. I am proud to say that I don't take my pills anymore. I read the Bible almost every day. On every lunch shift I talk with Seth and Gabe and Sarah and Mandy. We help each other keep our dedication to God and many times we help each other to understand His word. I can't believe half the stuff I used to. Even though most of it wasn't that bad, it just doesn't seem right anymore. Getting saved isn't some big bang that just happens, its a peace that gives you becauseyou gave yourself to him. Sometimes the commitment is hard to keep, but no matter what happens, now I know I have God next to me every step of the way. I'm trying to do more in my community and I hope my testimony helps you in some way. I know that the other testimonies here give my conviction strength. Jesus loves us all, never forget that.