A wildfire began in my spiritual life many years ago that forced me to examine everything I lived for. When this spiritual awakening began, I had been happily married and expecting my 3rd baby. Our family lived at a Christian camp making a very decent salary and our 7-year-old son attended the small, local public school. I did everything normal and ‘right’. My son had started off his education early by going to preschool so that he could socialize with others his own age. My children were immunized on time, we attended church each Sunday and we never had to worry about “doing without” financially. I did not have a job outside the home, but chose to be a homemaker. My Christian life was pleasant and comfortable, yet oddly empty and unsatisfying. How could this be since, according to middle-class American standards, my life was ideal?
“Open my heart and reveal new things to me” became my prayer to the Lord. I knew that my life was lacking depth and resonated with spiritual shallowness. “There’s got to be more to the Christian life than this”, I thought. By the lack of evidence I had seen in the lives of many Christians I was aquainted with (and this is not a sweeping allegation of every Christian out there by any means!), their faith had never blossomed or changed since they accepted the Lord in their hearts. Many of them were living the same lives that they had for years and years. I read Psalm 25 over and over, “Make me know Your ways, O Lord; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation”. I prayed to the Lord to examine my heart, direct my thoughts and actions, and show me the way I should take as a wife, a mother, but most importantly as a child of God.
My search for a more meaningful life in the Christian faith brought me to a humble realization that I needed to thoroughly reform my old ways. The things that I am going to share with you are simply examples of where the Lord has led my husband and I. It is by no means a showcase of what every Christian family should be doing because the Lord can lead His children on widely different paths. I want everyone to see that the Lord can make wondrous changes in our lives since he tells us to “break up your fallow ground” -Hos. 10:12.
Up to this point, I had been spoon-fed small doses of the Bible. Major decisions never had to be made by me as an individual because they had already been made for me by the crowd of Christians who had come before me. I simply followed their leading, assuming that “this is it”. Examining myself or questioning various other issues never even came to mind. The age-old traditions of the denomination that my husband and I had belonged to were our “Bible” and embarrassingly, reading the Bible seemed boring to me. Instead of allowing myself to remain spiritually complacent and lukewarm and instead of living each day as the one before, I began making decisions that made me different than others around me. I did not make these decisions overnight, nor did I make these decisions always completely consciously. It happened slowly over time, yet even small changes made along the way made me crave more of this “revolution” and more of Him. Almost immediately as I began embracing renewal in my life, I discovered that doing things out of the norm is viewed suspiciously. I had no idea how hostile some believers would be when my husband and I decided to homeschool our children or when our family size grew steadily larger with the addition of each new baby being added to our family. No doubt about it, I was not a “normal” Christian anymore and these radical lifestyle convictions seemed downright weird and ‘on the fringe’. Little did people know, I was still the same Brenda! There was no need for me to be viewed suspiciously or with confusion.
Around the time I began seeking to examine my life, two homeschooling families moved to our Christian camp and became our new neighbors. This was an open door for me to become acquainted with what I thought was a radical movement: the idea of teaching my own children at home. I no longer felt comfortable with my son being in school. Within a few months, we removed our son from public school and started teaching him at home. Excitement filled our home as we began a new journey in having our son home with us each day. To correct the character issues that had been overlooked while he had spent so many hours away and to focus on his God-given interests and abilities made our commitment even more adventurous.
The validity and safety of immunizations became another issue of concern for me. When my son had been 2 years old, he came down with a very bad cold that turned out to be whooping cough, of which he had been vaccinated against. My oldest daughter had also had mild reactions after several of her vaccinations, but being the good mother that I was, I never questioned the doctors, I never questioned the advice from friends and family, and I never questioned my own instincts which- looking back- I can recall being very nervous and uncomfortable every time I would hold my child down to get a shot. I began researching on-line about the dangers and uncertainties and even the long-term unknowns involved with vaccinating. After much thought and prayer, my husband and I decided that our children would no longer be vaccinated.
Our oldest 2 children were fully vaccinated, but the younger one's received minimal or no vaccines. Mumps is an almost-eradicated disease, but my family also was hit with this disease. My oldest daughter- fully vaccinated- got the mumps at the same time as her 1-year-old brother. Who had the worst case? My vaccinated child! Reading statistics throughout the United States, you can easily find outbreaks of whooping cough, measles and mumps. And in many cases 80% of the children who come down with the diseases are fully vaccinated! That is why I refer to them as 'vaccinations' rather than 'immunizations' because there is not full immunity. If the Lord is completely in charge of everything (as I know He is), then He can protect my child from the complications of any disease. This reasoning may sound ignorant to some, but I believe He showed me this truth after my vaccinated son’s bout with whooping cough and my vaccinated daughter's bout with mumps. If my child is meant to get a disease, it can happen whether or not they are vaccinated. Why expose my child to the known and unknown risks of vaccinations when God truly is the all-powerful Physician and Healer He says that He is? In 1970, autism affected 4 in 1,000 children. Today 1 in 175 children is autistic. Is this merely a coincidence? Should this be ignored? Millions of dollars are awarded to families each year for the horrible injuries their children sustained (permanent and fatal) because of vaccinations, yet the majority of Americans do not know or do not talk about this.
I also began questioning the supposed necessity of birth control and sterilization, a tradition that is expected in the all-American family after the birth of the 2nd or 3rd child. I asked myself, “Why”? If my husband and I love our children and truly believe that children are a complete blessing as the Bible states, then why do we even need to consider a vasectomy or The Pill? Many of my fears were based on the reactions we would receive from others over having a large family or about our ability to provide for an ever-growing family. A passionate yearning for truth in this area as well crept up in me. Could this new way of thinking be from the Lord or was it simply my strong maternal desires? When I approached my husband about the issue of birth control, it was obvious that the Lord had been working on his heart, too, because he was open to more children. We now have 5 children and are no longer embarrassed or concerned about other’s opinions. We are no longer living in fear about how many children we will have to provide for or about the rude comments we receive from others. This decision is a conviction the Lord has given us and that is all that matters.
Another subject that has become dear to my heart is teaching my sons and daughters the importance of living a sexually pure life. Obviously, my younger children are too young to explain to them the intimate details of premarital sex and all that that entails, but they already know the difference between a modestly-dressed woman and one who is dressed inappropriately. Immorality and lustful thoughts are not something new to our culture, but we seem more bombarded than ever with sexually-explicit images because of the TV's, computers, and Hollywood movies that are a part of most people's lives. If the Bible teaches us that we must "present our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God" (Rom. 12:2) and that "among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity" (Eph. 5:3), why then do Christian women and girls wear the same vulgar clothing as unbelievers? Why do they go to the store in the most revealing clothing? Do they not know that they are putting a major stumbling block in the paths of the faithful men who do not desire to tempt their own minds? Why aren't Christian men and boys having second thoughts about placing sexually vivid images of scantily-clad women before their eyes through the movies and TV shows that they watch? I know that we are living in the world, but we are commanded to be different from the world. If we are no longer any different from the world, why should unbelievers want anything to do with Jesus and His teachings?
I have learned that just because a certain thought process or action is accepted by our society to be harmless, helpful or necessary does not mean I am free to live by those same standards. Just because my mind has been taught to believe that practicing birth control or vaccinating my children or sending them to school is responsible does not change the truth the Lord has convicted me of. I must “examine everything carefully and hold fast to that which is good”- 1 Thess. 5:21. I do not want to live with the conditions I’ve accepted in the past if they create a distance between my Savior and me. What might have been perfectly suitable in my Christian walk ten years ago in behavior and actions may cause embarrassment and shame to me if I chose to live that way now. The only way to progress is to “take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” (2 Cor. 10:5) and test myself to see if I am in the faith and examine myself (2 Cor. 13:5).
The articles written in my website are topics that are dear to my heart. You may not agree with everything you read and that is fine. Examine everything for yourself, seek the Lord's direction, and then see where He will lead you. He is faithful to lead you in a new, fresh beginning if you only ask. God Bless You as you seek Him in all areas of your life!