Not-So-Quotable Quotes
"But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison." James 3:8.
To the Amish, anyone who is an English-speaking non-Amish is an "English."
Here are some true quotes that have proceeded out of the mouths of some of you silly English.
No offense meant.
Question: If you could live forever, would
you and why?
Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live
forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we
would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would
not live forever.
-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest
Whenever I watch TV and see those poor
staving kids all over the world, l can't help but cry. I mean
I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies
and death and stuff.
-- Mariah Carey
Researchers have discovered that chocolate
produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana.
The researchers also discovered other similarities between the
two, but can't remember what they are.
-- Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show
I haven't committed a crime. What I did
was fail to comply with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations
that he failed to pay his taxes.
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've
lost a very important part of your life.
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson
for a federal anti-smoking campaign
I've never had knee surgery on any other
part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward
Outside of the killings, Washington has
one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.
They're multipurpose. Not only do they
put the clips on, but they take them off.
-- Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company
charged the Air Force nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of pliers.
The President has kept all of the promises
he intended to keep.
-- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry
King Live
We're going to turn this team around 360
degrees.
-- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing
through our papers. We are the president.
-- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed
documents
When more and more people are thrown out
of work, unemployment results.
-- Former U.S. President Calvin Coolidge
China is a big country, inhabited by many
Chinese.
-- Former French President Charles De Gaulle
That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked
to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it.
-- A congressional candidate in Texas
It is necessary for me to establish a winner
image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody.
-- Richard M. Nixon
The government is not doing enough about
cleaning up the environment. This is a good planet.
-- Mr. New Jersey contestant when asked what he would do with
a million dollars.
I don't feel we did wrong in taking this
great country away from them. There were great numbers of people
who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to
keep it for themselves.
-- John Wayne
Without censorship, things can get terribly
confused in the public mind.
-- General William Westmoreland
If you let that sort of thing go on, your
bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet.
-- Former British foreign minister Ernest Bevin
Things are more like they are now than
they ever were before.
-- Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower
NOTE: None of these people are Amish!
THOU SHALT NOT STEAL ©2000 Traditional AmishEnterprises - All rights reserved.
Amish Funny Pages
Subscribe to the Free Funny Amish Newsletter:
Explore Our Pages
Return to the Funny Amish Homepage
Amish Humour - a fine collection of jokes
The Amish Eye-Test - can you pass it?
Amish Top-Ten Lists
Favorite Funny Sites Of The Amish
Other clean jokes we Amsih laugh at.
A Tribute To John-John Kennedy - we miss you
Click Here To See George W Bush dance to the Ballad of Al Gore
Learn Chinese in one easy lesson - Hilarious
See the world's first women-only parking lot.
Free pizza, anywhere in the United States
Email the Amish!
Send us your best stuff and worst ideas..
Traditional Amish Enterprises, copyright 2000, 2001
All content this page is written by Denn!s Regling
I am flattered that many web-citizens have opted to steal this material,
but would prefer that you give credit where due.
If Using this material, include my name as author and a link back to this page. Thank you.
.
.