Traditional Amish Humour Pages

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In honor of our Mennonite cousins, a little Mennonite humour.

The Amish are in actuality, a Mennonite sect, having left the Mennonites many years ago. Today, most Mennonites drive automobiles, have electricity and church houses. The traditional Mennonite groups have maintained plain dress, head coverings for the ladies and non-resistance as a way of life and shun more worldly entertainments like radio and television when the neighbors are looking.

Mennonite Jokes

Q. How do we know that Adam and Eve were Mennonite?
A. Who else would be alone in a garden with a naked woman and be tempted by a piece of fruit?

Q. What happens when you take one Mennonite fishing?
A. He drinks all your beer.
Q. What happens when you take two Mennonites fishing?
A. They don't drink any of your beer.
Q. How many Mennonites do you take on a fishing trip?
A. At least two so they won't drink all your beer.

Q. What's the difference between a Mennonite girl and Alaska?
A. About three degrees.

Q. What's the difference between a Mennonite girl and a water buffalo?
A. About 12 pounds of hair.
Q. How do you make them weigh the same?
A. Shave the Mennonite lass.

Q. What's the difference between a Mennonite boy and a rock?
A. The rock moves faster.

Q. What is the difference between a Lutheran and a Mennonite ?
A. A Lutheran will say 'hello' to you in a liquor store !

Q. What's the shortest book in the world?
A. Mennonite war heros.

Q. How many Mennonites does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Seven - one to actually change the bulb and six to complain that they liked the old one better.

Q. Why don't Mennonite women wear sleeveless dresses?
A. They refuse to bare arms.

Q. What goes black and white, black and white, black and white?
A. An Old Order Mennonite somersaulting down a hill.

Q. How was copper wire invented?
A. Two Mennonites found a penny.

Q. What do you get when you cross an Mennonite and a japanese car?

Q. What do you call a beautiful girl in a Mennonite Church?
A. A visitor.

Q. What is the definition of a Mennonite?
A. Somebody that can buy from a Jew and sell to an Amishman and still make a profit!

Q. How do you break a Mennonites neck?
A. You walk all around his car.

Q. How many conservative Mennonites does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. We couldn't possibly change the original bulb.

"Being Mennonite never stopped me from sinning - just from enjoying it!"

He could have been an Anabaptist, but he wanted to live a little Luther.

Name a serious Mennonite ethical dilema: Free beer.

Brother Amos, fighting for the Amish Way Of Life!

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