Traditional Amish Humour Pages

Amish Stand-Up Humour

It all began in Micah Yoder's barn. On Saturday nights, after the milking,
the young people would gather to hear Brother Jeb Foxyoder's funny sayings.

Jeb would quip about idiosyncracies of the Amish and the English.
Eventually, it evolved into his famous "You Just Might Be An English" routine
and equally funny, "You Just Might Be Amish" bit.

Yep, ol' Jeb was on his way to fame, working the Amish Comedy Barn circuit,
this rising star left them laughing in his wake.
Then one day, an English boy named Jeff heard Jeb's act.
Stealing Jeb's act and his name,
this city slicker went on to make many
recordings of his "Redneck" jokes.

Without the benefit of the devil's recording devises, Jeb disappeared into obscurity.
Those hearing his act no longer found it fresh.
He was accused of being the imitator rather than the innovator.

The Amish lost a great comic, but here for your pleasure are Jeb's original routines.
(Hint: If you are not Amish, you ARE English)

You Just Might Be Amish

You Just Might Be English
    If you have ever taken a bath in the middle of the week
    If you know who shot JR
    If you have never gone barefoot to church
    If you have fewer than 10 children
    If your church doesn't meet in a barn
    If you have ever eaten a TV dinner
    If you have never been to an auction
    If less than 500 people attended your wedding
    If you have ever hired a building contractor
    If higher gasoline prices concern you
    If your wife has never pulled a plow
    If you have a high school diploma
    If earning a living does not entail a pitchfork or hammer
    If you have ever been woken up at 3 a.m. by the telephone
    If a Clydesdale reminds you of Budweiser
    If you are reading this on the Internet
    You Just Might Be English

Remember, these are the intellectual property of the Amish - do not copy or forward without including a link back to this page. Thank you.

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