Steven's Story

My husband Perry and I had tried since we were married 6 and 1/2 years ago to conceive without success. When I was diagnosed with 3 different conditions each of which could in itself cause infertility, I realized without a doubt that God had closed my womb. But he had given both of us a very strong desire to be parents. We had been surrounded by adoptees and couples who had adopted, our devotionals and other Bible studies had been speaking to our hearts, and when we approached our families about the concept of adoption they were all for it. All this was a confirmation from the Lord that it was time and His will to pursue adoption. We took the steps to adopt by contacting a Christian agency and began the process without once looking back.
The first divine intervention came when the Lord placed it on my heart to contact our agency in October after applying in September. I hadn't heard from them about attending the required infant orientation and was curious as to when the next one would be. My husband said "no, let's wait for them to contact us." He was sure they would. All weekend I struggled with his decision but didn't say another word. On Monday, without telling me, he called the agency. As it turned out the next orientation was the next day! They were having an impromptu orientation for someone that was in town for a short visit from Germany and needed to attend an orientation. They asked my husband if we would like to attend since they had him on the phone. And by the way "the next orientation isn't until February!" Wow! If Perry hadn't made that phone call, our process wouldn't have started until this past Feb. We had our homestudy done by Christmas and were approved to adopt a healthy newborn infant by Dec. 31st. We spent the holidays and most of January putting together our profile which the birthmothers would look at and choose the family to raise their child. Now begins the *real* waiting. I was convinced that God was creating our child even then and I began praying for that child. I began gathering things for the nursery because I like being prepared; it's the Girl Scout in me! By the summer I had most of the furniture and began refinishing a chest of drawers to match our crib. During this wait I started chatting on the Internet with some wonderful Christian people who were also involved in adoption. Before I realized it I had taken over management of an e-mail conference that had over 100 subscribers! I felt that I was part of a huge family and everyone was praying for our adoption! God blessed us so many times during the summer with words from the Scriptures to give us peace and assurance that He was still working for us to build our family. One passage in particular came during a sermon at church. Ephesians 1:3-6.
"He has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly
places... just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world,
that we should be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined
us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the
kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace,
which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved."
God has chosen us by adoption through Christ Jesus into His family as His sons. We as children of God are all in the same family. It is no stretch for us then, to adopt a child into our earthly family. We as adopting parents can understand in a way how God has loved each of us when we show that unconditional love to a child God has given us through adoption. What joy and what a blessing this is! This kind of love can only come from God.
I began to dream a lot about what the moment would be like when I got to hold our first child for the first time. I thought about things like "how can I take this baby away from its mother?" "Will I instantly feel like a mother?" I had had a desire to be a mother for so long, would I be disappointed if those feelings didn't just rush in? I am glad that I am part of a group that can be honest and straightforward with each other without fear. The Lord will provide and I was looking forward to sharing with the group when we finally were able to adopt.
Sometimes God's answer is to wait but that's hard for us to accept in our human-ness. I do believe that obstacles are meant to be overcome. It gives God glory. I also believe that if our desires were our own selfish ones rather than God-given, His "NO" would be very plain. We need to examine our motives for wanting a child. Is it because we need to be loved unconditionally or is it because we want to share that unconditional love with someone who needs us? Overcoming helps us appreciate the blessings God bestows upon us. He is in control and His plan is best and will not be thwarted. As I stayed in His word daily He revealed to me what He wanted me to know and kept my focus where it needed to be: on Him, and not on my circumstances.
It's August now, still no one has chosen us. Then comes the first of two phone calls that would cause us to question whether or not we were really listening to God or to our own hearts. We were called to get permission to show our profile to a birthmom who had exposed her baby to drugs during her pregnancy. Yes, we would let our profile be shown. We had to give up the idea of taking a baby home from the hospital because this little girl was 6 weeks old already and in foster care. We waited a week but it seemed much longer. The birthmother couldn't decide! The baby was transferred to state foster care and we were left to wait again. The next call was about a young girl who had exposed her baby to alcohol. I said "no." After I hung up the phone I cried.
In September my sister was diagnosed with uterine cancer which required a hysterectomy. I flew down to take care of her when she was discharged from the hospital. Our mother was out of the country and our other sister was very pregnant with two other children to care for as well. As I was there I experienced a wonderful filling by the Holy Spirit and felt joy and peace and purpose for waiting. I couldn't have taken care of my sister if we had been blessed with a little one already. I could see the Lord planning each and every day. My Bible study led me to a passage about how the apostle Paul who was made to wait before beginning his missionary journeys. The Lord was preparing him for His ministry. I realized that I should be preparing my heart and soul as well while I was waiting for my ministry to come: motherhood.
On October 24th the call came! We were chosen and were going to be the parents of a healthy newborn baby boy! It turns out that Steven Isaac was born exactly one year from the day that we had our infant orientation at our agency. Our waiting was over. I was disappointed that I didn't burst into tears when I saw Steven for the first time. I was having a difficult time believing this was all real and that I didn't have to give him back. God has truly created a little miracle and I am so grateful that He gave him to us to raise. My love for Steven began growing before I even knew him as I had been praying for him since our waiting time began. Love is definitely a choice and the accompanying emotions have taken a while to come but with each day my love grows deeper. When Steven was 4 weeks old he smiled at me for the first time! The joy that flooded my heart was overwhelming. I realized at that moment that it was worth all the struggles, the waiting, the disappointments, and the pain. I am a mommy and now begins a lifetime of joy as I watch this little one grow to become the child of God that he is meant to be.


Brenda Rea
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