Ian's Story
Our journey to adopt Ian began shortly after our first son, Steven, reached a year of age, October 1998. My husband immediately began pestering me about adopting again. I wasn't ready. "Besides," I told him, "we haven't finished paying off the balance of our last adoption expenses!" Well, the following January the interest rate dropped for mortgage loans significantly. We decided to refinance and take some of the equity and pay off the loan against Perry's 401K. We were now financially stable once again so my husband asked me again. I thought of another excuse. My relationship with Steven was really blossoming. He was communicating more and more and I felt that another child would interfere with that! God had other plans for me!
In February we got a call from our caseworker telling us that she wanted to show our family to a birthmother who was having a hard time finding just the right family for her baby. She was looking for a well-educated couple, stay-home mom, with children already. We seemed to fit that bill. But we didn't have a homestudy update yet! Our caseworker said that we could send some pictures of Steven to the office and she would show the old profile. I prayed about it and realized that if this was God's will then we should be open to His plan. The birthmother chose another family but I realized that God was asking us to "get ready." He would do His part in bringing just the right child to us and He did want us to begin pursuing another adoption. I was worried about so many things: how would Steven do with another one around, how were we going to pay for it? All God was asking me to do was trust Him. He would take care of ALL the details.
By June of 1999 we were approved for another domestic infant placement. God immediately answered one of our prayers. Perry’s parents were willing to loan us the money for our next adoption interest-free and were willing to wait as long as it took for repayment! Their generosity is such a blessing! Our profiles were distributed to the different offices and we began to wait. I set a realistic goal for myself of Valentine's Day 2000 before I would get discouraged! Oh me of little faith. Why do I doubt? Why do I take my eyes off of the One who is sovereign over all things? We celebrated Steven's 2nd birthday with my family in Texas as we also celebrated the adoption of Grace by my sister and brother-in-law. I was so happy for them and so happy that the Lord had blessed them with a child before He blessed us with a second. Christmas came and went.
In February we were considered by three different birthmothers. The first two each had special circumstances that required us to take a step of faith that God would give us what we needed to adopt these special babies. They both chose other families. The third birthmom was having a difficult time with the idea of adoption. She probably knew it was the best thing but she kept coming up with excuses as to why we were not right for her baby.... she objected to the idea of home-schooling: that was not written in stone and we would be glad to discuss this with her. Well then she didn't like the fact that neither one of us had musical talent... obviously an excuse because we would encourage any talent of any child that God blessed us with. It was all too much for me. I was slightly depressed, having trouble sleeping, and very irritable when my husband's company experienced a union strike. He was opposed to supporting the union but he was also opposed to supporting management's treatment of their employees. My husband also became increasingly irritable. He was crossing the picket line every day and bringing his "work" home with him in the evenings. Something had to change. He began looking for a new job. His attitude changed but I was still reeling from so many rejections the month before.
We didn't hear another word from our agency. Perry found a job that meant our moving to a different state... new church, new friends, and new house. I thought that perhaps a change of scenery would do me a lot of good. I could pour myself into making a new house a home. We were prepared to move in July. Our house sold in 6 days and it only took two house-hunting trips to find a new one. But we both loved the new house. It had so much more room, plenty of room to grow! The day before the packers arrived I experienced acute appendicitis. Okay, Lord, what are you trying to tell me now! My husband and I realized we were being asked to be completely dependent on God. We had been trying for so long to do it all ourselves. It took a crisis but we came out on the other side with joy and expectation for what the Lord had in store for us.
In late September we got a call! Our caseworker in Seattle, WA said we had been chosen by a woman in Oregon to parent her second child. She was financially unable to care for another child and she was alone. We had a phone interview with her and her family and immediately bonded! It seemed to be a gift from God. But then, a temptation to panic. She was due in 4 weeks and we didn't have a valid homestudy in our new state! I knew God would take care of all the details. He had promised me and I remembered what happened when I took my eyes off Him before! We got fingerprinted, attended first-aid/CPR classes, had physicals, and had our new home inspected by our new caseworker all within 2 weeks. My in-laws happened to be in town (God's plan and timing are so perfect) and watched our son while we went to our classes. It was incredible. It usually takes months to get foster care approved but God knows no time barriers! One day before we were to leave for Oregon we got a phone call. The up-until-then-absent birthfather had come forward to contest the adoption. He was suing the poor birthmother for custody of her baby and he hadn't even been born yet. I was devastated! I had already packed the baby's bag. The nursery was all ready. We had even named him! It felt like a miscarriage. I couldn't even pray I was so lost. I called a friend and cried, she prayed for me. The Lord gave me a couple of verses the next day. "Weeping may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning!" Psalm 30:5b and another, "For such a time as this" Esther 4:14. I realized true joy the next day when I awoke to beautiful sunshine and green everywhere from several days of rain. God gave me a glimpse of His glory and a glimpse into His purpose. I asked the e-mail support group that I manage to pray for Nicole. I asked my church to pray for her. My family was praying for her. She was being covered in prayer that she wouldn't have been if God hadn't brought her into our lives!
We decided to jump right back into the swing of things and get our new profiles ready for our agency's office in our new state. I gathered all the supplies; they needed 10 copies of everything. I wrote our dear birthparent letter and got ready to start putting together our picture profiles. It was shortly before Thanksgiving. The phone rang. It was our caseworker from Seattle. She was following up with us after our failed adoption to see how we were doing. I told her all the incredible things that the Lord had done for us and also told her that we would be using the new office for our next placement. She told me that before I made all those copies of profiles I should know that our profile was on hold again in Seattle! The birthmom was considering another family and us and hadn't decided yet. Wow! The next week she called back to say that she had narrowed it down to just us but she wanted to meet us before she decided for sure. Her name is Meredith. We made plans to travel to Seattle after Christmas to meet her.
Our meeting went well but we found out something while we were there that caused us to trust in God even more than before. They had seen something by sonogram that caused them to think that Meredith’s baby might be born with a congenital problem which would require immediate surgery. Being a former neonatal intensive care nurse I knew enough to be concerned. They performed an amniocentesis and chromosome study that showed the baby was a boy with normal chromosomes. The medical condition, which he might still have, wouldn’t be ruled out until after he was born. On our way home I prayed God would heal him or give us all the strength to deal with whatever was to come. We named him Ian Joseph Rea, which means “God’s gracious gift of increasing faithfulness.” We got home and waited to hear what Meredith had decided. The next week we were both miserable waiting for a phone call so I broke down and called our caseworker. She hadn’t heard anything. A half-hour later she called back to say that Meredith had been trying to reach her caseworker all day to give her the news. She had prayed with her parents and God had given them the peace they were searching for that we were the right family for her baby! Oh yea! Now we wait…. again. I spent the time nesting, getting the nursery ready, washing little clothes, making packing lists. We had planned to travel the day before she was due, Feb. 4th. Our tickets had arrived; we were all set. My husband had a business trip planned to Pittsburgh. He would be back in plenty of time for us to get ready for our next trip to Seattle. Friday while he was gone our caseworker called, Meredith was going into the hospital on Monday to be induced! Her blood pressure was up and suddenly so was mine! My husband flew home on Sunday and we all flew out again on Tuesday!
We were staying with friends. It was so hard waiting to hear about Meredith and the baby. She was 38 weeks along and the threat of possible surgery for the baby still loomed over our heads. But God gave us all incredible peace about it. Meredith had decided that she didn’t want us present for the birth and wanted some time with the baby before we saw him. That was fine with us. She was sacrificing so much, how could we deny her a little time with her son when we had a lifetime with him ahead of us? We waited for the phone to ring. Meanwhile I stayed in God’s Word and worked on my Bible study. We were studying a passage in Matthew about the storm that tossed the tiny boat full of disciples. I realized that God was calming my heart in the midst of the “storm” of not knowing what was happening at the hospital with Meredith and little Ian. We finally got a call late Wednesday evening. Ian had been delivered by C-section because Meredith had failed to progress in spite of all the medications. He weighed in at a whopping 9 pounds 5 ounces and was going to be observed over night in the intensive care nursery for signs of the medical condition that they feared he had. The next morning he was returned to Meredith’s room and was pronounced healthy! Praise God! We were allowed to see him the next afternoon. After visiting with Meredith for a few minutes we took Ian to the nursery for some time alone, just the 3 of us. We had left Steven with our friends. Meredith later told us she had named him Micah Thomas. We loved the name Micah “sent from God” and let her know we planned to add it to the name we had chosen. So now he was Ian Joseph Micah Rea. It is a big name for such a little guy but I know that God has big things planned for him!
After leaving the hospital we headed downtown for an intimate dinner celebration. We ordered a bottle of wine and struck up a conversation with our waitress. She wanted to know why we were visiting Seattle and we told her. She was so excited and happy for us. She shared with us that she had relinquished a baby for adoption years ago and praised us for being willing to adopt another woman’s child. We told her that it was no stretch for us…. I couldn’t have biological children and wanted desperately to have a family. If it hadn’t been for the courageous and self-less sacrifice of our children’s birthmothers I wouldn’t have been able to realize my dream of motherhood. She later brought us a couple of glasses of champagne on the house as a congratulations.
Meredith spent all the next day and the following Saturday morning with Ian. Our caseworkers planned a giving and receiving ceremony for that afternoon. It was a very emotional time for all concerned. The giving and receiving ceremony was beautiful. While Meredith held Ian, her caseworker Kelly said some wonderful things praising Meredith for her courage and her strength and said she was the heroine. She quoted the poem "Legacy Of An Adopted Child" which we already have framed and hanging in his room. We then all prayed together and our caseworker Marlene also said some wonderful uplifting things. Her parents were there and we got some pictures of Meredith, Ian and her parents with red puffy eyes and tears streaming (but I wanted Ian to know how much they all love him!). Meredith then handed Ian to me and I started crying again and hugged Meredith for the thousandth time! I found a devotional book for her called "31 days of Praise" which I hoped would help ease the pain she is experiencing. I whispered in her ear how hard it was to take her baby from her and I promised to love him with all my heart. She reassured me that she knew this was all God's plan! I couldn't have asked for a more meaningful hospital experience. God was truly in that room! After Meredith and her parents left we brought Steven back into the room with us and let him hold the baby with a little help from us! :-) He was so gentle and good and we got some great pictures.
We are all home now and settling into being a family of four. I remember having a hard time feeling connected to Steven when we were first home with him. I feel so connected with this little person. I had more time to prepare myself emotionally with Ian and I look at him in total awe. God has truly blessed us abundantly once again.
Brenda Rea
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