Whispers from above...
It's almost 2 o'clock in the morning. I am blessed with the time
of quiet, wordless fellowship with the Lord...
I am so happy that He is with me tonight. He is always with me -
even when I feel that He's gone.
When I feel I can't find Him, when I feel He is hiding Himself -
He's right here, in my spirit... He's not only
the omnipotent, Mighty God, a far-away God who's dwelling in
unapproachable light but He is the One living inside of me...
So often times I lack this experience of His presence by becoming
entangled with my little problems and anxieties.
Then I walk away leaving my first love alone, then I let Him to
remain merely objective God of Sovereign Authority. So often
times
I seek to do my own will, to chose according to my own
preference, to flow my rotten self into others instead of dying
to
myself and letting Him live through me...
Gradually I begin to see how much of me is there in me and how
less of Him...
I begin to see the real condition of myself and start to hate the
very things I used to treasure which are part of my
disposition and constitution. Talking about the bad things -
they're obviously to be hated... but the good things,
the things the world would consider as virtues or useful ability.
I begin to realize that all what is the issue of
the natural life is in simple words ugly, disgusting... If Christ
will not take over and possess fully my mind's faculties,
my emotion's tender feelings and my naturally submissive will -
these will cause damage in the building of God's house.
I was told once by unbelieving person that she's happy that her
son is spending time with me because I am
"good and proper person". Oh, when I heard that I was
delighted... Then I realized, that what she saw in me was just an
exposition of the goodness and proper behaviour originating from
my natural self... This was not Christ - this was
my good self. After some time I've become more conscious of what
people see and what people cannot see...
How much of Christ people see in me and how much of myself?
I long to become constituted with Christ to express and shine Him
out. I want for Him to fill all my virtues with His
divine attributes thus making His home in my heart and producing
the reality of the God-man living.
This is going to be a long process. I realize I cannot jump right
into the state of the full maturity in the divine life.
Life grows - not jumps. Life grows slowly, finely, steadily and
gradually. Hence, there is a need for me to abide under
the constant dispensing of the processed Trinity in order to
become the one who expresses Christ and not the good self...
How much of the time will I therefore allow God to work? How much
of the time will I spend in myself not allowing Him to have His
way?
I think I begin to learn the secret of abiding in the fellowship
with the Lord.
Since my self is so strong and very good at building the
separations between me and the Lord I should spend more time
with other saints! The Lord is to be ever found in His Body...
And also many times He finds us, the lost sheep through the
members
of His Body... The sheep that is lost in the mazes of
introspection, in the labyrinths of self-pity and wanders in
the wilderness of unregulated emotions, wild imagination, useless thinking, and
vain considerations,
not knowing why this and that. Why the Lord allows certain things
to happen? Why He's not answering my prayers? Why
do I feel like I'm beaten? Oh, so many sheepish problems could be
solved when the little sheep comes back to the flock!
But most of the time it is the flock that comes to the sheep and
ushers her back onto green pasture...
There are some sensitive sheep around who are moved by gentle
stirrings of inquietude ringing from the being of the little,
lost sheep... Those sheep will not go and bring the little one
back by themselves. No, they will go to contact the Shepherd,
to turn His attention to the one that's being oppressed. Then the
Shepherd and the caring sheep go together to restore,
cherish and nourish the one that's been lost.
Lines 4-8 of stanza 5 of Hymn number #960 say:
The sheep and shepherd are of one,
The head and body same;
None e'er can pluck from out Thy hand
The child who trusts Thy Name...
I testify, tonight I have experienced the shepherding of the Good
Shepherd in His divine, heavenly ministry
as the High Priest caring for His people, through reading an
encouraging email from my dear brother in Christ.
The Lord turned my eyes from my messy situation to the Reality
above, to the throne of His administration and
to the wheel of His economy:
What follows is the part of the email message I've received from
that brother.
He just spoke the ministry of healing into my aching heart:
"It is crucial that we learn to link our practical situation
to the Lord's administration.
In 1 Samuel 1, God caused Hannah to suffer until her prayer
transcended the natural human level
of a woman praying for a baby. She did not cease to be a woman
praying for a child,
but she became a woman praying for a child in relation to God's
administration. She got the child.
cared for the child, and she let that child go.
In our own situations, if we do not see the connection to God's
administration, we should just pray,
'Lord, in this matter, do what's the best for your interest,
what's best for your economy.' Then, we are one with Him.
When we pray for our problems in relation to God's
administration, God is provoked to act."
This is the true fellowship in life and light - not sugar-coating
or merely human sympathy. This is the truth.
And the truth is what sets us free from whatever bondage we're
in.
The Lord works through those members of the Body who are praying
within His prayer according to God's administration
for the carrying out of His economy...
He is caring for us through the saints.
May we see the importance of intercession accompanied by tender,
loving care toward all of the dear saints in the church!
Love is the most excellent way!
FSS 23 January 2003